some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
