right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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