Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
