just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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