I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize