Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
