it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
