No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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