Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize