no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
COCAINE IS GR8
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize