yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
