But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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