: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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