I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
