I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
