i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
