And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're like the curious george of whores
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
