i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
