just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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