Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
