I think my vagina is haunted
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
