We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
