quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
