My hand turned me down
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
