I can tuck mytits in my pants
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
