If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize