Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
