why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
