His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
