just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
