Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
