If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
