I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
