how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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