He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
