friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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