he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
