Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't EVER smell your tampon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
