he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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