Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize