I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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