worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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