U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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