No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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