I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
