We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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