The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
