Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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