i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
