from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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