office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
