it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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