fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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