i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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