Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
