my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You made out with two different species that night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
