How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize