at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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