I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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