I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
