what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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