I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I forget how to act sober
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